First Wave, second wave, third wave or new wave, white or black feminist I am not… You ask why? I say why not? I never learned how my femininity or womanhood could work for me in any place except the bedroom. Told from a child “You should never be broke because you have a pocket book between your legs”. Too many times reminded that “girls are supposed to be seen and not heard”. Before I knew myself well enough “a man don’t want no woman that is this or that” you fill in the blanks. How was I ever to be what I imagined myself as with all these rules, restrictions and constraints?

First wave, second wave, third wave, new wave, white or black feminist I am not… You ask why? I say what is feminine about a girl growing up in a house with no men? Told to be tough because there is no one else there to protect you. Don’t cry because it’s a sign of weakness. Learning early no one is coming to save you; you are the savior and the soldier.
No brothers to defend your honor, or take at the trash when it’s too dark out.

First wave, second wave, third wave, new wave white or black feminist I am not…you ask why? How can I when I was taught that my femininity is a weapon to control a man, you possess powers that can get you the world. Not a sign of my own strength and validation that because I could create the world I wanted. My femininity is something rejected from conception. My daddy didn’t want a girl he wanted a boy all masculine and strong. He rejected my femininity before he knew what I would be, who I become, how I could even contribute to him.

So First Wave, Second Wave, Third Wave, New wave; white or black feminist I am not… you ask why and I ask back Why not?