Have you ever wanted something but didn’t know how to get it?

I’m not talking about a dress at Dillard’s. I’m referring to a way of life.

While drinking my morning coffee recently, I realized I was ready to fulfill my unspoken desire to add more intentionality to my home office by working with a professional organizer. The mere idea of entering my unique, freshly organized, creative space felt epically awesome.

I want to let you in on something. I talk to my first love several times a day. He’s my very best friend. Our conversation started like this:

Hey, and good morning! Thank you for this beautiful day. Sun is out. The breeze is cooler. I love it!

 

I know I told you already, yet it never gets old that I miss Mama and Daddy something so awful. Let them know for me, please. Thank you for giving them to me as my parents. It was this time last year that Daddy went home with you. Lord, imma need you to help me through the holidays, oh holidays, and grief…no Bueno. Lord, I know you. Please give me some of that strength.

 

Well, guess what. You made me, so you already know what’s up, lol. Ha! I’ve decided to declare that I will conquer the chaos. I’m over little piles of clutter that feel like confusion in my office. Let’s start there, lol. Seriously though, I need to ask you for something specific that only you can do. And I know you can do it. Because, after all, you are my Heavenly Father and God. I desire to go into the new year with the gift of clarity.

 

Wouldn’t it be cool if I met a professional organizer? I want to learn a new skill. Papa Jesus, I know you can answer that prayer. You’ve shown me time after time that you are a miracle worker. Promise keeper. My God! That is who you are. (Note: I get so excited when I talk to you! Legit hype!)

I started declaring and rejoicing as if my home office was already professionally organized: “Amen! God, you are able!”

When I was a little girl, my grandmother and I would pray. She would say, “Lord, I declare it in your name!”

So, I said, “I declare to learn how to organize my office professionally and will enter the new year with this prayer answered. Amen, and I love you. Amen!”

The next day, I met a friend at a Lucky Goat coffee shop (yummy!). Well, inevitably, soon after, I had to go to the bathroom. Since the women’s room was occupied, I used the men’s room. “Whatever,” I thought. So, when I came out, would you believe—pinned to a bulletin board right in front of me—was a flyer that read: “Organize with E, Home Organization.”

“Let’s make something neat together” was typed on the flyer.

I knew I had to call this woman. Well, Amen! Ha Ha! That’s my Jesus! I smiled so wide and just stood there, justa tickled at how creative God is. Had I used the women’s room, I would not have seen the flyer! What in the world? I took a picture of the flyer, and five minutes later, Erika answered the phone.

The First Phone Call

Me: Hi! Is this E? My name is Felicia. I prayed for a professional organizer yesterday, and can you believe God led me smack dab to your flyer? Isn’t that awesome?

E: Hi Felicia! I’m so glad you called!

Me: God is my best friend! Sugar, I want to learn how to have a less chaotic house. I got stuff everywhere. I don’t want to know how to clean up. I want to learn how to organize my office and keep it that way. I have piles of papers everywhere… and no clue what to throw away. And P.S. ADHD is a reality. Can you help a woman like me?

E: I sure can! (She sounded so confident, yo! Okay, sis!) Felicia, I got a solution for every disorganization issue.

Me: Okay, let’s do this!

E: Let’s make it happen!

Game on! As Erika and I discussed the logistics, I felt the Lord express that she was rare. He had plans for us. E and I would partner to make way more than my office neat. She was my new sister. Yes, and Amen! I love meeting a new sister!

My first assignment was to walk through my house and send E pictures of each room in its current state. I said, what? I started feeling ashamed. The house was an absolute wreck. However, I had arrived at the point of no return. How could I achieve my desired outcome if I didn’t expose my mess to a qualified professional?

I could already tell that E was good people! She wasn’t judging me. I reminded myself that this is what this woman does. I was talking to the right person. She was safe. The plan was for her to come to the house on November 2. I had made my commitment! It was on. Woo Hoo. Countdown to clarity!

I started experiencing significant back pain two days before we were set to organize the office. I called E.

Me: E, I don’t feel like doing this. My body won’t let me be great. The pain is awful. Let’s cancel.

E: You deserve the gift of clarity, Felicia. This is what you prayed for. Let’s do this. I will see you on 11/2.

Me: Thinking silently….Deciding she was right….”Okay. Let’s not cancel. I look forward to meeting you.”

My back still hurt something awful, yet my spirit was lifting.

November 2nd

Erika arrived promptly with a beautiful smile and a kind disposition. She’s delightful! Believe it or not, I felt nervous! The anxiety I was experiencing was a mix of excitement and anticipatory grief. Erika assured me she would not force me to get rid of anything I didn’t want to. The tension lightened a bit. I soon realized that this is what it feels like to put some skin in the game. To be all in. I didn’t stuff those feelings away. I’ve become acquainted with my emotions. I soothed them with reminders that this is what the pursuit of the gift of clarity feels like. And at the end of the day, I would feel different.

We went through the entire office of stuff—one by one. E had a donation bag, trash bag, and yard sale space for me. The sorting. Every item that didn’t belong in my office (my makeup, necklaces, and I have a lot of both…she asked me to put them in their appropriate spots). I got my steps in! I didn’t realize how much stuff I had… everywhere. Erika taught me how to decide. What do I keep? What is trash? How long do I keep the “yard sale pile?”

I felt my stomach relax as I embraced the purging, sorting, and throwing away. We were 50% finished with the office.

“Felicia, you’ve suffered from decision fatigue for a while. That is behind you now. Let’s keep making this office neat together. Everything will become so much clearer soon.”

I inhaled deeply. I took a massive sigh of relief, my heart expanded, and peace followed. Erika’s gift was making room for me, inside and out.

The Release

As I laid my head on my pillow that night, tears of freedom streamed down my face. I got my gift! The Lord ordered my steps, sent the healer, and now I rest. Had I not decided I was worthy of it, none of this would be. Sis, you are worthy, too. Give yourself the gift of clarity! Text E, now at 850-748-6746. Don’t suffer another damn day. E is the best professional organizer in my world!

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Felicia Dilbert is the author of the best-selling and deeply personal, Beautiful Healing Volume 1 – Seven Love Letters for the Truth Seeker’s Soul. Those who are willing to choose the path of Beautiful Healing find grace through grief. Visit www.FeliciaDilbert.com and follow @feliciadilbert on Instagram.